I’d rather have a hard relationship than an easy one

You often hear the saying that any good relationship shouldn’t be hard. I’ve never been totally sure if I agreed with that. I’ve been in relationships that I thought were hard at the time, but looking back now that I’m older, they really didn’t challenge me the way my relationship with Kyle does. I consider my current, adult relationship hard. It comes with real challenges, real tests of our faith, and moments of desperation. Yet, it’s the strongest relationship I’ve ever been in and I would do anything in the world to ensure it continues.

When I say hard, I want you to understand that I have never questioned my love for Kyle or my commitment to us. I mean we have gone through things together that test us on a very deep, very personal level that takes serious strength and love for one another to get through together. Things like this are hard enough to get through by yourself, so going through them while having to keep someone else in mind can prove to be a real test of your relationship.

I’m not just talking about arguing every now and again over who knows what, but I’m talking about the real stuff. Cancer. Mental health (and all that goes into it). Money. Buying a house. Living together. Lifestyles. Conflicting goals. Different standards. That stuff. That’s the stuff I’ve learned that makes it hard. I’ve never bothered to get to this point with anyone else because the relationships felt much more surface level. But Kyle is my best friend. I wouldn’t want to handle these things without him, and although they can cause conflict, it leads us to a place where we are forced to communicate about important topics. And because of that, at the end of the day, I feel that our relationship is stronger and much better off than what it could be.

Not every couple will encounter the things Kyle and I have; everyone has their own set of struggles, but it’s this kind of stuff that really tests you. It’s how you know you’ve found a real relationship. I imagine this happens at different times in people’s lives too. I’m sure there are opinions that I’m too young to know what I’m talking about and maybe that’s true, but I can only speak to my experiences thus far. And I’m grateful for all of my experiences because they led me to where I’m at and have shaped me into who I am: someone who loves very deeply and is fiercely loyal, but who is also strong in her convictions.

I suppose my purpose for writing this post is so others know that if they’re in a relationship that is difficult, that doesn’t mean it’s not the right one. There are obvious signs if a relationship is not the right one, such as not respecting each other, but if you’re going through any of the things I mentioned above – I would say that’s totally normal. The longer you’re in a relationship, the more of these things you will encounter. And that’s okay. Keep on keeping on – your relationship is uniquely yours and that is beautiful, no matter how hard it can get. After all – you were drawn to each other for a reason. It’s important to always remember the why.

xoxo,

H

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