Guys. Let’s talk about adult friendships.
When I was younger – riding horses, having sleepovers, causing shenanigans – you could always guess who I was probably with. Whether they be friends from school, Westernaires (this is a whole thing, just google it because I just don’t have the mental capacity to talk about it at this point in my life), or family friends, I had a tight knit group of friends. The kind of friends who you spend every waking moment with through high school. The kind of friends you assume will be in your wedding party when you get married at age 23 (lol why did I think that was the magic number? I would have been miserable had that actually happened) You’ve got it all figured out and then..things just stop. You turn 18. You might go to college. Maybe you just start working. Perhaps you move away. Whatever the reason is, we have all experienced the sudden cutoff that happens when you become an adult.
I’ve learned that people who want to be friends will make the effort to be friends. And I will make the effort to be friends with those I want to be friends with. It’s a mutually exclusive type of thing. It’s only natural some will lose contact because you don’t have the platform or the outlet that connected you before. You start to really realize that perhaps those you thought you had a lot in common with isn’t actually the case. You might go through a period of feeling lost or alone because “you literally have no friends anymore”. My 18-22 year old self was definitely guilty of saying that phrase. But you know what? That phrase is such BS. Shout out to everyone about to graduate from high school – don’t you ever say that phrase! Why? Because you have so many people in your life who you might not have realized are the people you will eventually end up surrounding yourself with.
Once I didn’t have the same routine of seeing the same people, I was forced to make other connections. And thank god I did! I met people who I had preconceived notions about that had kept me from seeing the potential of our friendship. And to those people – I am so truly sorry for being a such a shitty, egotistical teenager. And if you’re shaking your head and saying you were you weren’t one – just stop. We were all idiot teenagers at some point, it’s really just a passage of life we all go through.
Point is – at 25 – my closest group of friends might be lacking in quantity, but certainly not quality. As an adult, it’s so essential to have a group to lean on and into when you start going through adult things; college, marriage, divorce, financial troubles, living situations, car problems, and god forbid deaths. I don’t know where I would be without a circle of people I could join. And the best part is, I have multiple separate circles of friends. I’ve got a swing dancing crew, a horse riding crew, a work crew, and a hiking/drinking/football/Charcuterie Sunday crew. Ya’ll know who you are and I want to say thank you to each of you for being a part of my life.
If you are a teen or young adult reading this right now – I hope you know just how many people you have on your side. Even if you don’t think you do. There are people you don’t give a second thought to right now who just might be the friendship you didn’t even know you needed.